Self Strangulation

If you've tried to visit Conservapedia recently, especially from a location outside the US of A, chances are you've been met by the notice above.  Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your browser, or your connection - it simply means that Conservapedia's administrators have blocked you from viewing their site at server levels. That's right - not content with banning people from editing their little right-wing hate-blog, they're  now preventing people - especially all those nasty, liberal non-Americans - from even looking at the crap they publish.

Ok, so the actual reason is a bit more complex than that. It would appear as if our friends over at Conservapedia have been one of a number of site that have been under a Denial of Service attack (DoS). What this essentially means is that the host server is flooded with automated requests, which either slow it right down, or cause the server - and linked web pages - to crash.

There appear to be two groups behind the latest swathe of attacks - the first being hacker group Anonymous, who have launched a war on copyright and the other seeming to be extortionist attacks, originating from China. As with most things, those in the know tackle the problem and get on with their lives.

But not Conservapedia.

Oh no, first of all they have to massage their massive persecution complex, because - of course - this DoS attack is all about them. And it's not a bunch of Oriental crooks trying to squeeze them for a dollar, nor is it Anon using CP to make a point. Oh no, as "senior" administrator Brian Macdonald, aka Karajou, puts it:

What this means to the average layman reading this is a DDoS attack is conducted by the liberal left when they are faced with an idea they don't like; There are people who do not like conservatism; they do not like the morals and responsibility and accountability which is attached to conservatism. They cannot stand God, they cannot stand the Bible, and many of them are quick to dismiss "Jeebus" - as they call Jesus - as nothing more than a farce. And most of all they cannot stand anyone who would adhere to any of it. What they did to Conservapedia during the past 24 hours is very typical of their "philosophy", which is to shut down any kind of speech they don't like.

See what I mean about persecution complex? The entire machinery of the "liberal left" has been fired up to take down a two-bit backwater of a hate-blog, because you know, whenever somebody says "God", we just have the urge to do so. How dare people interfere in our site. No doubt, there has been plenty of communication with the FBI over this "vandalism" to CP. Karajou, however, has to go one step further. The DoS attack isn't because CP is a right-wing, fundie, loonie, Birther, hate-blog that liberals hate. Oh no, it's because Karajou drew a pathetic, unfunny cartoon, mocking a professor that most people have never heard of. Now how's that for a persecution complex??

However, Brian's insecurities - as many as there are - aren't the focus of this posting. It's more about Conservapedia's reaction to the DoS attack. You see, it's safe to say that the actual combined PC knowledge of CP's administrators could be written on a pinhead, with enough room left over for a good old Angel square-dance. At least they have enough gumption not to give Ed Poor bureaucrat rights and server access, no matter how many times "User 188" hints at his non-existent expertise.

Now I'm no IT boffin myself, but I'm pretty sure there must be easier ways to fend off a DoS attack than blocking half the world at server level. Otherwise, every time one happened, half the internet would suddenly be off-line. However, if there's one thing CP's administrators know how to do well - and are indeed praised for by Andrew Schlafly - it's blocking. So what better way to fend off an attack by "liberals" than by blocking them? Schlafly has even gone as far as granting server-level access to the remaining admins in his inner circle (well Karajou and Jpatt anyway. I wouldn't trust Ed Poor, Conservative or Rob Smith with an ice-cream cone, let alone a server) in order for them to make 403 range blocks.

As with all things Conservapedia, these are done to extremes, with not only large parts of the world in general and the USA in particular blocked from even reading the crap on Conservapedia, you can also bet that these aren't blocks that will expire with in a day or two, one the attack has stopped. Oh no, especially if Karajou and Jpatt are involved. These two champions rarely block for anything less than 5 years and mostly for infinity.

Which means that the site that constantly cries about conservative thought being censored have effectively cut themselves off from most of the internet, with more likely to follow. So it's somehow liberals' fault that the people running Conservapedia, instead of having the brains to how how to run a site, can only draw the wagons into an ever-tighter laager. Got to love that persecution complex.

Addendum:

Just to prove that Andy Schlafly is a lying sack of shit, in the wake of the massive DoS attack and Conservapedia shutting itself off from the outside world, just how does Andrew Schlafly deal with the matter? Well, delusionally, it would appear, as he proclaims:

Conservapedia has broken its March record for the number of unique visitors

I know today's April Fools, and I really wish I was joking. But sadly, I'm not.  You may now commence beating your head on the desk.

 

Dear Karajou

Now I know you have delusions of grandeur, coupled with a persecution complex that would make Roman-era Christians consider you intense, but please don't ever think that people are outraged over your cartoon.

I know there are many, many things you don't understand, foremost amongst these would appear to be "How to give your latest blog post a title", but I thought you would at least understand the difference between "scorn & ridicule" and "offence & outrage." As much as you'd like to believe it was your inane scribble that led to the unfortunate DDoS attack on Conservapedia (Wow, get your head around this one - even some liberals don't agree with vandal tactics) it wasn't. It was more a case of a bunch of bored 4Chan'ers, who decided to bomb the CP server, especially seeing as how it's run by such an internet guru as Andy. Maybe you should just give Ed bureaucrat rights and leave it at that.

No, Karajou, don't presume for one minute that your cartooning skills (which, let's face it, are on par with Ken Demyer's parody skills) roused sufficient wrath amongst the baby-eating atheists that they would take down CP. The only thing your cartoon offends is the intelligence of those who see it. And the only outrage it provokes, is at the first class hypocrisy of the moron who penned it. (see post below)

Hypocrite!

Yes, I'm probably going to attract all kinds of abuse for doing this, but frankly I don't mind. Exposing the hypocrisy of the malignant creatures that run Conservapedia is more important, so the gloves are coming off for this round.

Well, it had to happen sometime.As I've mentioned before, Conservapedia's resident idiot, Conservative (aka Ken Demyer) has been achieving sexual gratification recently, by claiming that atheists are obese - despite evidence to the contrary. The thing is, is he has hasn't stopped at that inane, childish name-calling. He's gone on to attack PZ Myers in particular, even insinuating that PZ has evolved into a pig. Yes, as with many things, Ken as a limited grasp of what "satire" means.

Now, Andrew Schlafly, and his spineless sysop toadies, have, of course, defended Ken's pathetic name-calling, thus revealing themselves, once again, as pathetic, bitter, small-minded, malign creatures, with not a single Christian principle between them. But I'm going to focus on one in particular - the bitter old swabbie Brian Macdonald.

Now he touts himself as Conservapedia's resident artist and comedian (I use both words in their broadest possible context, of course), frequently decorating CP's main page with editorial cartoons - the quality of which has been rapidly declining over time. You can have a look at his collected works here, or if you'd prefer, the attempts by Rationalwiki editors to make his cartoons funny here. His latest effort sides with both Ken's pathetic "atheists are obese" claim, as well as a direct attack on PZ Myers. Here it is:

Yes, I know, cartoons are supposed to be funny. We're hoping Karajou will get there eventually. Still, Karajou thinks it's funny to poke fun and laugh at fat people? Ok, laugh this off, funny man...

One of the leaked posts that was held back from general publication, was one from Brian entitled "Yes, I'm showing off my kid!" In it, he bragged about his son playing the sax in his school's jazz band. Now, a) jazz sounds dangerously liberal to me and b) I'm guessing that 8th grade would make the kid about 13 or 14.

So imagine my surprise when I follow the link, to find that Brian's teenage son appears to have a serious weight problem, especially for one so young. We're not talking a few extra pounds either. No, Brian Macdonald's (Conservapedia editor Karajou - he of the mocking cartoon) is OBESE - just look at the tree-trunk legs on the poor kid. The ironic thing is, it's not just me saying so. Andy Schlafly, in reply to Brian's e-mail said, "Looks to me like the football team is going to want him also!"

Of course, by Conservapedia standards, this must make him a stinking atheist. He's even wearing black! A sure sign of a baby-eating Bible hater. No wonder Brian's so full of impotent rage, when he has two of the things he claims to hate most living under his own roof. Then again, maybe that's why the kid eats. He's too young to drink yet.

Pathetic Parables

This is a silly little thing really, but it does underscore the... well, I'm not sure really - gullibility, rank stupidity maybe? Or maybe the principle that is rife on Conservapedia - why let a few pesky facts get in the way of a good story? Now, I don't mind twisting a few facts to suit one's needs  - we all do that - but when simple irrefutable facts are ignored, one has to raise one's eyebrows.

Such is the case with everybody's favourite swabbie, Conservapedia administrator Karajou (so much for the "use your real first name and initial" rule, hey Brian?). Now Mr Angry, as we've come to know and love him, recently posted a pretty little parable on his talk page. You've probably seen it yourself. You might even know that the whole thing has been proven to be a pretty lame fake. Of course, nothing like this is going to get in the way of Brian wanting to make a point and so he blunders forth.

The parable begins:

This Happened In Germany Years Before Hitler Took Over:

'Let me explain the problem science has with religion. ' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir, 'the student says."

It then goes on about how this good, clean Christian student goes on to trounce (with very dodgy logic) his "atheist professor." All well and fine, until you get to the clincher:

The student was Albert Einstein.

Once again, I'm left bereft of words to sum up, when Brian has done such a great job illustrating my point. Either the man thinks Einstein is a Christian, which is not beyond the realms of possibility, or he's willing to post anything that conforms to his twisted worldview, or he's just a moron who can do little more than "stimulus - response."

As Classy as Steaming Dog Crap on a Marble Floor

I was going to write an entry on just how classy Conservapedia has been, regarding the tragic shooting in Arizona, but I've decided against it, save to say a few words.

As with most tragedies, Andrew Schlafly and his cohorts have shown the grace and dignity of a steam pile of dog crap on a marble floor. Not content with branding the shooter a liberal and atheist, they've also taken to using his quotes in their "Nihilism" article. So much for reputable sources. He's also jumped on the "liberal" (as in  "they say things I don't agree with") New York Times, which issued a call for gun control. You have to understand that next to classroom prayer, and girls making cookies, gun control is closest to Andy's heart - never mind the fact that people like him shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a weapon. Of even a metal fork for that matter.

Conservapedia - 4 Years On

The internet is a powerful source of information and thanks to Andy Schlafly it has become an educational tool.

So Andrew Schlafly's little project has just turned 4 - which is something like 80 human years. Well, given the advanced state of senility the site finds itself in, it must be something close to that. Sadly, the event passed almost unnoticed on Conservapedia, although their "friends" over at RationalWiki, did put up a pretty "Happy Birthday" banner for them. Not much difference from previous years really, although we did have the awards for most "news" articles back in 2008... when there was still editors to award prizes to. RationalWiki couldn't even be bothered to award the traditional (and we believe much-coveted) "Biggest Idiot at Conservapedia" award - citing general apathy and the realisation that the same idiots would win the same awards for the same reason for yet another year.

Fortunately, loyal minion Jpatt, took it upon himself to pen a small tribute to Conservapedia, in honour of their birthday. Of course, as with most things Conservapedia, it's what the article doesn't say that's revealing, so I thought I'd take a few minutes out of my busy day to have a look at his tribute and add a few comments of my own.

Prophesy Ignored?

As I mentioned in my post below, Conservapedia is already dead in the water, if not floundering at the gunwales. However, it wasn't always so. At the beginning of 2009, it was a vibrant and happening, albeit it odd, little community. There were regularly over 100 different active editors a week, there were conversations and friendly chats going between talk-pages and the sysops were even inclined to enter into a debate - until they started losing said debate, of course.

Roll forward almost two years, and the little community is looking very run down. The long-time residents have effectively put barricades across the roads, allowing none in, except those who sneak past the defences, and are speedily shot, before they can smash any more windows. The vibrant little community has shrunk to a few old-timers (barely more than 40 editors as week - and 90% of those are blocked with in 1 edit), who no longer talk, but peer out at the world from behind their curtains, shotgun close at hand.

How to be a Coward

Regular readers of my humble prose might have picked up on a kind of common thread when discussing Conservapedia's group of administrators. Admittedly, there's probably several themes, amongst them stupidity and bullying, but first and foremost they are, to a man, a craven bunch of chicken-livered yes-men who live to lick the shit off Andrew Schlafly's shoes. They know all too well that Conservapedia is the only place where they have any kind of influence, and can pass themselves off as even vaguely knowledgeable - as evidenced by Brian Macdonald/Karajou's frequent 2-day 'I'm leaving and never coming back" stunts - and thus they will do anything to make sure they stay in Andy's good books. All this means is that Andy has a compliant echo-chamber, which serves to reinforce his own special brand of crazy. Another example is where he demanded to know if an editor, who had made the mistake of calling an entry "un-encyclopaedic" possessed a degree in "Encyclopaedia Science," failing which he was not qualified to make such assessment.

Now, I mentioned Brian Macdonald for a reason. This administrator, who is a weird mix of Popeye, Capt. Haddock and Charles Manson, is easily one of the most bullying of administrators. On more than one occasion, he has demanded that editors drive to their library, take out the book they are using as a reference and read the debated passage to him. I kid you not. (If you don't believe me, lookup TZB 670/9f2ce177201fc389.html "Historical matters and Kool-Aid")

Yes, Brian Macdonald is a man who brooks no trouble, has anger-management issues and a hair-trigger temper.

And a yellow streak a mile wide.

That's quite an assertion to make I hear you ask (hopefully?). Well, let's have a look at one example where Brian rolls over and lets his Lord and Master fuck him publicly up the ass. Metaphorically of course. Brain's retired from the navy so that sort of thing probably doesn't happen anymore.

Now I'm sure I don't need to remind you about just how horrible Conservapedia's "article" on Pres. Obama is. Nevermind the fact that Andy bears a personal grudge against his former boss on the Harvard Law Review, it now sports such rubbish as the Presidents's birth name being Barry Soetoro. Nevermind the fact that his mum only met Mr Soetoro 6 years later.

Still undaunted, Karajou decided to take it upon himself to make the article look more encyclopaedic. He wasn't going to actually remove any of the garbage contained in the article, just put things in a better order. For example, one would expect a biography to come before all the alleged scandals.

He also did spring a surprise on anybody. He made his intentions very clear in a message to the Zeuglodon Blues administrators' group, entitled "Obama article changes". In it he says,

So far, I did a re-arranging of half the article, and the other half I'll work on today. This does not involve a reduction of anything in the article itself with the exception of the introductory paragraph,
which I feel should be much shorter in addition to getting right to the point on his socialism.

The new layout is as follows:

Intro
Early Life and Education
Chicago Life (includes early activism, politics, etc)
Illinois state political life and voting record
Personal beliefs (includes religion, socialism, etc)
United States Senate
Presidential run (this includes the birth certificate controversy)
Presidency

I'm going to set this article from the standpoint that he was actually born in Hawaii, as the lawsuit stems from a Democrat who has a history of filing frivolous lawsuits anyway. Conservative talk show host Phil Valentine has come up with the more likely theory that the reason Obama wanted the birth certificate hushed was that he was born as a "caucasian" or "mixed race", rather than as "African-American".

He then adds a second post, saying,

Ok, it is finished and posted.

One of the criticisms leveled against us is articles like what I have just corrected, and not so much in facts posted, but in how the article was previously laid out. State senate stuff added to the US senate topic, the same abortion info presented several different times when only once was enough, etc etc etc.

We do have to take a critical look at many of our articles and ensure that they are presented properly.

Now, nothing wrong with that would think. The only problem is that Andy has so many crazy toes that everybody steps on one at least once. This time was Brian's turn. Andy leaps in and reverts all Brian's work, with the edit comment of "restoring traditional placement; any massive rearrangement that dumbs down the entry needs more discussion before considering it."

Wow. So one of Andy's handy administrators was "dumbing down" an article. It should also be mentioned that besides his TZB posts, Brian also mentioned his changes on the talk-page. But Andy clearly couldn't be bothered to even skim through these posts, prefering to publically slap Brian down.

So, how would the angry one respond? Would he tell Andy that he had asked for discussion? Would he revert Andy's changes? Would he leave and never come back? What would Brian do?

The answer is: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Because he was too shit-scared of offending Andy and possibly harming the only position where he can wield some measure of authority.

And that is why Brian Macdonald, like his fellow administrators, is a craven, gutless coward.

The Fine Art of Backstabbing

Actually, another title might be “A Lesson in Hypocrisy.” Either way, what follows below is a prime example of creepy “Uncle” Ed Poor at his best. Or should that be worst? However, before we embark on this sordid little tale, a little bit of background info is required methinks.

Amongst the chosen few who act as “administrators” - please forgive the “”, it’s just that the one thing these goons don’t do is any actual administration. Probably due to a lack of machismo – it’s fairly safe to say that paranoia runs rampant among them. Well, except for Rob Smith and Ken DeMyer that is… they only suffer from paranoid delusions. This paranoia manifests mostly itself in off-line discussions about anything CP related, lest they dare show a divided front to the three non-clickbots that actually visit their site. The attempts by Terry Koeckritz and Brian Macdonald to block every IP-address outside the USA are clearly another symptom. Then again, Terry does a great job of fuelling the collective paranoia with his frequent references to “vandal sites” – none of which can be named, but nevertheless, does send a steady stream of members to RationalWiki. Which is just what Terry wants, of course.

Macho Ken DeMyer

Sadly, I must confess to having long ignored one of Conservapedia's more notorious administrators - user:Conservative (aka Ken DeMyer, Ruy Lopez, Peter Moore, David Jensen or any one of the many aliases this international man of moron-ity adopts in his efforts to boost his pet articles up Google's rankings via search engine optimisation - SEO). By now, anybody vaguely familiar with CP should be aware that his "pets" are Atheism, Homosexuality, Evolution and Richard Dawkins... although not necessarily in that order. Forgive me if I don't link to those articles myself, but I have no desire to assist in his frantic attempts to have his drivel appear in Google's Top 10. To this end, Ken sees himself as a bit of an alpha male, and must stake out his territory by scattering his droppings all over CP's main page and mostly Andy's talk page.

"Drivel?" I hear you say. "On the Trustworthy Encyclopaedia? Surely not." Well, you're welcome to read them yourself, but I'm sure you'll find them a turgid mess of quote mines, terrible English (Ken deserves an award for the use of the word "regarding" virtually every sentence he types), repetition (again with the SEO thing) and bad facts. An apt comment when describing Ken's stuff (which was originally applied to the Conservative Bible Project, I believe) is that "it reads about as well as shitting barbed wire feels good.") Of course, these articles are also protected, so only Ken, or the other admins, can actually edit them. However, given that CP happily displays this garbage on their front page, clearly means that the Trustworthy Encyclopaedia is proud of this un-encyclopaedic rubbish... even if all the other admins studiously avoid touching Ken's output. They're probably scared his stupidity is catching.

Making Karajou Funny

Conservapedia administrator Karajou – who would appear to be immune from their “use your real first name and initial” block reason (after all, there’s no possible permutation of ‘Brian MacDonald’ that gives you ‘Karajou’) – fancies himself as a bit of a cartoonist. However, before we go into that, it’s probably best to have a quick refresher course on what we know about the man behind the myth.

Karajou is CP’s resident navy veteran, something he confirms on his user page. Where he tells us which countries he visited, what courses he took, but is strangely silent on his rank achieved after 20 years’ service. Then again, given his passive-aggressive anger issues, hair-trigger temper and generally grumpy temperament, it’s likely he kept getting  busted down to seaman, for punching out his OC. Probably because the latter wasn’t conservative enough. Personally, I’ve always pictured him as a weird hybrid between Capt. Haddock’s bushy beard and pipe, Capt. Sobel’s (from Band of Brothers) people skills… and Colonel Kaddafi’s eyes. This is best displayed by his reaction to a (probably false) letter from a mother of a gay son - blocking her whilst calling her a bigot.