We're back!

Well, those thin-skinned knuckledraggers over at Conservapedia have tried their best to shut down any criticism of them and their right-wing hate-blog, by closing down the old "We Couldn't Make This Up."

 

I'm sure they're incapable of grasping the irony of doing this, even as their own Brother Leader, Andrew Schlafly, bemoans "liberal censorship" thwarting his attempts to inflict his made-up list of conservative words. Then again, I doubt they grasp many other 3-syllable words either.

Well, just to say that firstly, I must be doing something right if that gang of right-wing thugs feel so threatened by my writings. Secondly, we're back! A bit older and wiser, thus I'll have to go to the inconvenience of running several blogs simultaneously, so at least they'll still appear in the Google searches.

Still, the fact that they're running scared tells me I'm doing something right. Let the show go on!

Self Strangulation

If you've tried to visit Conservapedia recently, especially from a location outside the US of A, chances are you've been met by the notice above.  Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your browser, or your connection - it simply means that Conservapedia's administrators have blocked you from viewing their site at server levels. That's right - not content with banning people from editing their little right-wing hate-blog, they're  now preventing people - especially all those nasty, liberal non-Americans - from even looking at the crap they publish.

Ok, so the actual reason is a bit more complex than that. It would appear as if our friends over at Conservapedia have been one of a number of site that have been under a Denial of Service attack (DoS). What this essentially means is that the host server is flooded with automated requests, which either slow it right down, or cause the server - and linked web pages - to crash.

There appear to be two groups behind the latest swathe of attacks - the first being hacker group Anonymous, who have launched a war on copyright and the other seeming to be extortionist attacks, originating from China. As with most things, those in the know tackle the problem and get on with their lives.

But not Conservapedia.

Oh no, first of all they have to massage their massive persecution complex, because - of course - this DoS attack is all about them. And it's not a bunch of Oriental crooks trying to squeeze them for a dollar, nor is it Anon using CP to make a point. Oh no, as "senior" administrator Brian Macdonald, aka Karajou, puts it:

What this means to the average layman reading this is a DDoS attack is conducted by the liberal left when they are faced with an idea they don't like; There are people who do not like conservatism; they do not like the morals and responsibility and accountability which is attached to conservatism. They cannot stand God, they cannot stand the Bible, and many of them are quick to dismiss "Jeebus" - as they call Jesus - as nothing more than a farce. And most of all they cannot stand anyone who would adhere to any of it. What they did to Conservapedia during the past 24 hours is very typical of their "philosophy", which is to shut down any kind of speech they don't like.

See what I mean about persecution complex? The entire machinery of the "liberal left" has been fired up to take down a two-bit backwater of a hate-blog, because you know, whenever somebody says "God", we just have the urge to do so. How dare people interfere in our site. No doubt, there has been plenty of communication with the FBI over this "vandalism" to CP. Karajou, however, has to go one step further. The DoS attack isn't because CP is a right-wing, fundie, loonie, Birther, hate-blog that liberals hate. Oh no, it's because Karajou drew a pathetic, unfunny cartoon, mocking a professor that most people have never heard of. Now how's that for a persecution complex??

However, Brian's insecurities - as many as there are - aren't the focus of this posting. It's more about Conservapedia's reaction to the DoS attack. You see, it's safe to say that the actual combined PC knowledge of CP's administrators could be written on a pinhead, with enough room left over for a good old Angel square-dance. At least they have enough gumption not to give Ed Poor bureaucrat rights and server access, no matter how many times "User 188" hints at his non-existent expertise.

Now I'm no IT boffin myself, but I'm pretty sure there must be easier ways to fend off a DoS attack than blocking half the world at server level. Otherwise, every time one happened, half the internet would suddenly be off-line. However, if there's one thing CP's administrators know how to do well - and are indeed praised for by Andrew Schlafly - it's blocking. So what better way to fend off an attack by "liberals" than by blocking them? Schlafly has even gone as far as granting server-level access to the remaining admins in his inner circle (well Karajou and Jpatt anyway. I wouldn't trust Ed Poor, Conservative or Rob Smith with an ice-cream cone, let alone a server) in order for them to make 403 range blocks.

As with all things Conservapedia, these are done to extremes, with not only large parts of the world in general and the USA in particular blocked from even reading the crap on Conservapedia, you can also bet that these aren't blocks that will expire with in a day or two, one the attack has stopped. Oh no, especially if Karajou and Jpatt are involved. These two champions rarely block for anything less than 5 years and mostly for infinity.

Which means that the site that constantly cries about conservative thought being censored have effectively cut themselves off from most of the internet, with more likely to follow. So it's somehow liberals' fault that the people running Conservapedia, instead of having the brains to how how to run a site, can only draw the wagons into an ever-tighter laager. Got to love that persecution complex.

Addendum:

Just to prove that Andy Schlafly is a lying sack of shit, in the wake of the massive DoS attack and Conservapedia shutting itself off from the outside world, just how does Andrew Schlafly deal with the matter? Well, delusionally, it would appear, as he proclaims:

Conservapedia has broken its March record for the number of unique visitors

I know today's April Fools, and I really wish I was joking. But sadly, I'm not.  You may now commence beating your head on the desk.

 

Oh dear

Hmmm... it seems as if those liberal, freedom-of-speech-hating scum-buckets have hit RationalWiki too with a DDoS attack.

Of course, Brian Macdonald and the other fuckwits at Conservapedia will rationalise (Ha!) this by claiming that we DDoS'd ourselves, thus hoping to absolve ourselves from blame for Conservapedia's DDoS attack.

The really sad part is that I wish I was joking when wrote the above sentence.

Dear Karajou

Now I know you have delusions of grandeur, coupled with a persecution complex that would make Roman-era Christians consider you intense, but please don't ever think that people are outraged over your cartoon.

I know there are many, many things you don't understand, foremost amongst these would appear to be "How to give your latest blog post a title", but I thought you would at least understand the difference between "scorn & ridicule" and "offence & outrage." As much as you'd like to believe it was your inane scribble that led to the unfortunate DDoS attack on Conservapedia (Wow, get your head around this one - even some liberals don't agree with vandal tactics) it wasn't. It was more a case of a bunch of bored 4Chan'ers, who decided to bomb the CP server, especially seeing as how it's run by such an internet guru as Andy. Maybe you should just give Ed bureaucrat rights and leave it at that.

No, Karajou, don't presume for one minute that your cartooning skills (which, let's face it, are on par with Ken Demyer's parody skills) roused sufficient wrath amongst the baby-eating atheists that they would take down CP. The only thing your cartoon offends is the intelligence of those who see it. And the only outrage it provokes, is at the first class hypocrisy of the moron who penned it. (see post below)

Andrew Schlafly - Misogynist

I know, everybody's reading the header and going, "Yeah? So? We know that - don't you remember his 'girls are inferior to boys' exams?" Of course I do, but it's not everyday that Andy "Brother Leader" Schlafly really shows us just what a misogynistic piece of crap he actually his.  In his world, women should be at home, in the kitchen, preferably pregnant and home-schooling the kids.

You know, like his mummy Phyllis did, when she wasn't out doing book signings... or speaking against women's rights... or advocating marital rape... or running her "university"... or...

The fun thing with Andy is that he has so many crazy toes that you're never quite sure just where and when they're going to bring forth another pustule of hate from his bitter, twisted little mind. In this case, it's while discussing the "Greatest Conservative Movies" - remember, in Andyland, everything can be classified into either conservative or liberal. Andy takes exception to the Disney movie "The Princess and the Frog," not because it's an awful film - and thankfully the end of Disney's princesses - but because it's full of rampant feminism. At least he didn't mention the affirmative action princess. Yet.

As with all things Andy, I feel it's best to let his words speak for him, because following on from the rank stupidity (and hate) of the pathetic comments below, I actually have nothing more to say except that the man is a festering bubo, harbouring the kind of insecurities that only come from a man who pretends to be macho, but behind the scenes, his wife handcuffs him to the bed and whips him bloody. Because that's how he gets off and it makes him feel so dirty.

Spotsbunch, I think you have a valid point about the Lion King, but from what I've heard about the "Princess and the Frog," it's feminist claptrap with the woman wearing the pants and doing everything except having children and homeschooling her kids. It's more Disney tripe about a successful businesswoman towing along an inept man, which is hardly typical in the real world. (link)

and

Feminism is unmistakable: it has women acting like men and vice-versa, contrary to reality. Disney cartoons have been ''heavily'' feminist for at least 15 years. ''Beauty and the Beast'', made 20 years ago, was not feminist in any way. But having a "Princess" act like businessman and aspire to run a restaurant is feminist. What's next - Cinderella aspires to be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company??? (link)

Hypocrite!

Yes, I'm probably going to attract all kinds of abuse for doing this, but frankly I don't mind. Exposing the hypocrisy of the malignant creatures that run Conservapedia is more important, so the gloves are coming off for this round.

Well, it had to happen sometime.As I've mentioned before, Conservapedia's resident idiot, Conservative (aka Ken Demyer) has been achieving sexual gratification recently, by claiming that atheists are obese - despite evidence to the contrary. The thing is, is he has hasn't stopped at that inane, childish name-calling. He's gone on to attack PZ Myers in particular, even insinuating that PZ has evolved into a pig. Yes, as with many things, Ken as a limited grasp of what "satire" means.

Now, Andrew Schlafly, and his spineless sysop toadies, have, of course, defended Ken's pathetic name-calling, thus revealing themselves, once again, as pathetic, bitter, small-minded, malign creatures, with not a single Christian principle between them. But I'm going to focus on one in particular - the bitter old swabbie Brian Macdonald.

Now he touts himself as Conservapedia's resident artist and comedian (I use both words in their broadest possible context, of course), frequently decorating CP's main page with editorial cartoons - the quality of which has been rapidly declining over time. You can have a look at his collected works here, or if you'd prefer, the attempts by Rationalwiki editors to make his cartoons funny here. His latest effort sides with both Ken's pathetic "atheists are obese" claim, as well as a direct attack on PZ Myers. Here it is:

Yes, I know, cartoons are supposed to be funny. We're hoping Karajou will get there eventually. Still, Karajou thinks it's funny to poke fun and laugh at fat people? Ok, laugh this off, funny man...

One of the leaked posts that was held back from general publication, was one from Brian entitled "Yes, I'm showing off my kid!" In it, he bragged about his son playing the sax in his school's jazz band. Now, a) jazz sounds dangerously liberal to me and b) I'm guessing that 8th grade would make the kid about 13 or 14.

So imagine my surprise when I follow the link, to find that Brian's teenage son appears to have a serious weight problem, especially for one so young. We're not talking a few extra pounds either. No, Brian Macdonald's (Conservapedia editor Karajou - he of the mocking cartoon) is OBESE - just look at the tree-trunk legs on the poor kid. The ironic thing is, it's not just me saying so. Andy Schlafly, in reply to Brian's e-mail said, "Looks to me like the football team is going to want him also!"

Of course, by Conservapedia standards, this must make him a stinking atheist. He's even wearing black! A sure sign of a baby-eating Bible hater. No wonder Brian's so full of impotent rage, when he has two of the things he claims to hate most living under his own roof. Then again, maybe that's why the kid eats. He's too young to drink yet.

Bizarre Stuff

Over on FaceBook, there's a page dedicated to Conservapedia, although ironically, it's meant as a parody page. Clearly the site that Andrew Schlafly thinks is merely used for gossip and breaking up marriages, isn't worthy of having a site advertising themselves in a positive light. Then again, why would they need to - there are plenty of people viewing Conservapedia. Why, there's enough that Schlafly thinks CP is solely responsible for the U.S.'s lurch to the right.  (You see, this is the kind of thing that happens when you surround a megalomaniac with simpering, spineless toadies.)

Now there's a very good reason that I mentioned that the FB Conservapedia page was intended as parody, because there have been some strange happenings going on over there. So strange, in fact, that if I wasn't that familiar with the general what-the-fuckery associated with Conservapedia, I'd write it off as somebody taking the piss and leave it at that. It might still be a classic Poe, or it might even be the true identity of CP's International Mug of Mystery, Ken Demyer.

Karajou - A Reply

So everybody's favourite swabbie and Conservapedia sysop, Karajou, has taken to the blogosphere. It's always good to see Andy Schlafly and his hand-picked goons venture forth from the safety of Fortress Conservapedia (even if only out of morbid curiosity), and at least it's a step up from former CP sysop DeanS's blog, which you could only read if he gave you permission. Clearly Dean was a bit hazy on the concept of a blog.

Sadly, Karajou doesn't offer us anything that we haven't already seen on Conservapedia, or in the behind-the-scenes discussions, so helpfully leaked by the late Terry Koeckritz. Which is sad. I was hoping for such insights as just what a Defender of Conservative Values has for breakfast before going forth to smite internet vandals and reporting them to every authority under the sun (My guess is still 30 Texan plain and a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20, until proven otherwise). Sadly no. We just get more of the same - incoherent rants about how liberals are to blame for all the ills of the world, interspersed with a creepy tale of him stalking an ex-co-worker.

And so the cover-up begins

Honestly, I swear I'll never understand just how the minds of those that run Conservapedia work. It's fairly common knowledge that long-time administrator and de facto leader of Conservapedia, Terry Koeckritz, has passed on. Yet, besides a passing comment in the sysops' chat group, where they had to rely on information from RationalWiki, not a word has been said about it. Andrew Schlafly discouraged any mention of it on CP's main page, with vague references to "vile liberal trolls" - kind of ironic, given the number of graves he's danced on in the past.

Where it gets really weird, however, is when Andy and his cohorts - in this case John Patti - actively lie through their teeth and then in true Conservapedia fashion, punish the editor and remove any evidence the question was asked.

Thanks, Conservaleaks

Those with more tech savvy than yours truly, have gone to the incredible effort of not only posting all the previously leaked Conservapedia discussions, but also cleaning them up, labelling them and collating them in alphabetical order, in an easy-to-browse format.

To all those involved, my heartfelt gratitude.

You can visit the collated archives here.

He Who Laughs Last

I've sat here for ages thinking about how I'm going to word this, as there's an awful lot that needs to be said and I don't want to take up too much room saying it. It's also a post I wasn't expecting to be making for some time, but sadly things have changed, and there's really no point in carrying on this subterfuge any longer. Besides, I think he'd want to go with a bang, while he's still fresh in people's memories.

I suppose I should start at the beginning, with the first of many confessions. Although it's probably the worst-kept secret, let me come out and say for once and for all that, yes, I was the charming, funny, courteous and helpful Conservapedia sysop, JessicaT (宜しくお願いします!). Ironically, this will have the CP types who read this up in arms, screaming "Liberal!" and yet, they would be hard-pressed to find one thing that little Jessica did to harm CP while she was there. Except for her constant fighting with one Terry Koeckritz...

Housekeeping

I've decided to go through the archives and remove all posts referring directly to the late Terry Koeckritz.

After all, there's no point in demonising the dead and I'm sure Andrew Schlafly and his remaining cohorts will provide plenty to write about in the months to come.

UPDATE

I must confess, I never expected the strength of feeling that my decisions to "retire" certain posts caused. I guess I didn't really think it through and made the mistake of seperating the man from the institution he ran (into the ground). The final clincher was the closing comment by TGoGJ

Don’t ever let the CP admin forget how badly they got taken by that man. Don’t you dare.

Or maybe I'm just wishy-washy and indecisive. I dunno...

Either way, the posts have been restored, for better or worse.

 

End of an Era

Wow, that was quite a surprise this morning - logging on to find that everybody's favourite internet troll, Terry Koeckritz, has rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible, to coin a phrase. At least that should quell the ongoing speculation about his whereabouts over the past month, whilst possibly fuelling a new discussion about his current whereabouts. (ooh, did I just say that?)

How do I feel about it? Well, Terry was a source of endless material for my humble blog and his antics will be sorely missed. In a way, I feel a little bad for referring to the "Ding! Dong! The Witch is Dead" song, in my January 17^th post below. The impact he left on Conservapedia will be lasting, if not ultimately fatal. He leaves behind a website which he almost single-handedly transformed from a growing, vibrant, but slightly deranged community, into a barren wasteland, populated only by several highly paranoid administrators. Conservapedia might bounce back, but it will take a combination of time and a relaxing of the rampant paranoia (not to mention rank stupidity) that keeps good-faith editors away.

But how do I feel about Terry passing? Some say the opposite of love is hate. It's not. Those two fight it out on the same face of this particular coin. No, the opposite of love, or hate, is antipathy. And that's what I feel. I'm sorry for his family, especially his mother, for whom this must be very hard, but as far as Terry Koeckritz goes... I feel nothing.

 

Andrew Schlafly, Idiot

Yes, I know, you're all thinking, "So what's new?" but it is gratifying when Conservapedia founder and self-proclaimed home-school teacher, Andrew Schlafly opens his mouth and displays his complete and utter ignorance for all to see. If he's not begging some State's Supreme Court to ignore their constitution because of a "heartfelt" letter George Washington wrote to a family member, then he's banging on about global warming... or the lack thereof.

I've mentioned elsewhere about Andy's penchant for writing off global warming fears as "liberal claptrap" - his new pet phrase since "Godspeed" and "You're clueless" went out of fashion. His basic spiel is to say something along the lines of "Ooh, there's a massive snowstorm in the Midwest today. So much for the liberal claptrap of global warming."

Now, it's understandible that Andy has to follow in Mama S's conservative footsteps, but you'd think he man would have an inkling of how this thing he doesn't believe in works. After all, he does have an engineering degree from Princeton. Now, the easiest way to describe all this would be as follows:

Warmer weather = warmer seas = more evaporation = more water vapour in air = blown inland by air currents = if it's hot, you get floods (Queensland); if it's cold, you get increased snowfall (US & Europe).

Now, before all you techy types start writing me long messages, employing irony, that is the very, very simplified version. I'm trying to phrase it in terms the Conservapedia administrators will understand... although I'll probably have to resort to pictures for a few of them.

Anyway, long story short, Andy posted yet another "It's cold, so global warming isn't happening" story. A soon-to-be-banned user enquired politely is Andy wasn't confusing "weather" with "climate." Ok, so he also called Andy's right-wing hate blog a blog, so he deserved everything coming to him.

This involved local swabbie with anger issues, Brian Macdonald, swaggering over in true Karajou style, blocking the user and instead of addressing the issue, decodes to speak to the dead:

While you're banned as the troll/vandal you are - and since you like reading blogs - I suggest you try reading this one: http://wattsupwiththat.com/climategate/

Once again ignoring that Climategate was blown all out of proportion by right-wing fuckheads like Brian. Don't worry, I'm sure Brian doesn't mind me calling him a fuckhead (although "forecastle's bitch" might make him blow a fuse), seeing as he concluded our last little chat by saying that he'd be laughing in heaven, while I burnt in hell. What a nice fuckhead he is.

Not to be outdone, Andy also feels the need to speak to the dead and it's with his quote that I'll close off. Because really, you can only let such rank stupidity speak for itself:

"PhineasR", snowfall is correlated with cold weather, and much snowfall is a counterexample to the liberal claim of dangerous global warming.  Here we observe events and data with an open mind

Pathetic Parables

This is a silly little thing really, but it does underscore the... well, I'm not sure really - gullibility, rank stupidity maybe? Or maybe the principle that is rife on Conservapedia - why let a few pesky facts get in the way of a good story? Now, I don't mind twisting a few facts to suit one's needs  - we all do that - but when simple irrefutable facts are ignored, one has to raise one's eyebrows.

Such is the case with everybody's favourite swabbie, Conservapedia administrator Karajou (so much for the "use your real first name and initial" rule, hey Brian?). Now Mr Angry, as we've come to know and love him, recently posted a pretty little parable on his talk page. You've probably seen it yourself. You might even know that the whole thing has been proven to be a pretty lame fake. Of course, nothing like this is going to get in the way of Brian wanting to make a point and so he blunders forth.

The parable begins:

This Happened In Germany Years Before Hitler Took Over:

'Let me explain the problem science has with religion. ' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir, 'the student says."

It then goes on about how this good, clean Christian student goes on to trounce (with very dodgy logic) his "atheist professor." All well and fine, until you get to the clincher:

The student was Albert Einstein.

Once again, I'm left bereft of words to sum up, when Brian has done such a great job illustrating my point. Either the man thinks Einstein is a Christian, which is not beyond the realms of possibility, or he's willing to post anything that conforms to his twisted worldview, or he's just a moron who can do little more than "stimulus - response."

Oh all right

Yes I know. I was Leaving And Never Coming Back. I went to pieces so fast that onlookers were struck down by shrapnel, and those that weren't were soon felled by the toys I was tossing out of my cot. I'm sorry.

So, does this mean I'm back? Well, yes and no. As I said below, Conservapedia is essentially dead and is by no means a presence on the internet. I wouldn't go as far as to say it was an unhealthy interest, but girlfriends are strangely unforgiving when they get called "TK" at inopportune moments.

And besides, when a fair maiden calls me "her hero," how could I possibly say no? (PetiteGurl, I want to marry you and have your babies!)

Finally, as much as he's a shameless attention whore, Ken Demyer's slide into insanity is far too much fun not to write about. Even if it is akin to laughing at the disabled.

Fuck it.

Conservapedia is dead. It's staffed by bigoted morons.

What more do you want to know?

Cheers.

It's been fun.

Encyclopaedic?

Andrew Schlafly has long held a grudge against Hollywood, as evidenced by the bizarre Hollywood Values article. This might be because it's full of "liberals" - liberals in this case meaning everybody who isn't Andy, Mama Phyllis or Saint Reagan Himself. Then again, Andy holding grudges is nothing new. He harbours similar grudges towards professors and, of course, against his former boss at the Harvard Law Review, Barack Obama.

What makes it even funnier, is when Andy works himself up into a fine old lather over something and demonstrates for all to see that Conservapedia no longer even vaguely resembles and encyclopaedia, but has merely become yet another right-wing hate-blog, from which Andy and his cohort of losers can spout their bile.

As you were...

The extremely helpful and friendly minions at Wordpress have fixed the problem - whatever it was - and all tags are once again up and running normally.

Which leads me to believe that just maybe it wasn't our friend Terry who was behind it. In which case,

I'm very sorry to have accused you falsely, Terry.

Even though it's exactly the kind of behaviour we'd expect from you.

As Classy as Steaming Dog Crap on a Marble Floor

I was going to write an entry on just how classy Conservapedia has been, regarding the tragic shooting in Arizona, but I've decided against it, save to say a few words.

As with most tragedies, Andrew Schlafly and his cohorts have shown the grace and dignity of a steam pile of dog crap on a marble floor. Not content with branding the shooter a liberal and atheist, they've also taken to using his quotes in their "Nihilism" article. So much for reputable sources. He's also jumped on the "liberal" (as in  "they say things I don't agree with") New York Times, which issued a call for gun control. You have to understand that next to classroom prayer, and girls making cookies, gun control is closest to Andy's heart - never mind the fact that people like him shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a weapon. Of even a metal fork for that matter.